A dogs version of creation:

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.  

On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as
potential food for the dog.  

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.  

On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.  

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke.  

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.  
On the first day, God created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
Who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
Span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back
the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about
I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and
give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty  years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and
I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave
back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty
years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to
entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
everyone.

Life has now been explained to you
A LESSON TAUGHT BY AN OLD POODLE....

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles,
along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.. Wandering
about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he
immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is
about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any
more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks
away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this
knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees
him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon
catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see
what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do
now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them
yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

"Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Dog Humor
763-689-0095
Cambridge VetCare
Animal Clinic, PA
Cambridge, MN